


Portend by Adelaide Elizabeth Morgan

by m_a_archive_owner



Category: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-03
Updated: 2014-04-03
Packaged: 2018-01-18 00:08:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1407679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m_a_archive_owner/pseuds/m_a_archive_owner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Obi-Wan considers the ramifications of a promise he</p><p>Note from mods: this story was originally archived at www.masterapprentice.org, which has closed due to code rot. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in March 2014. The m_a list was mailed in December 2013 as well as posted to a number of LJ and Dreamwidth communities about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact us using the e-mail address on collection profile.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Portend by Adelaide Elizabeth Morgan

|  [Master Apprentice](http://www.masterapprentice.org/html/index.html) [Archive](http://www.masterapprentice.org/html/archive.html) Portend  |  Quick search:   
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##  Portend 

###  by Adelaide Elizabeth Morgan (adelaide@morganne.freeserve.co.uk) 

Category: Q/O, POV, Angst, Post-TPM,

Archive: You mean you actually want this?? Woah, scary..

But yeah, if you want it, you can have it. The fic that is.

Rating: err, only a PG, sorry.

Feedback: Loved it? Loathed it? Couldn't give a damn? Tell me  
anyway. Adelaide@morganne.freeserve.co.uk

Spoilers: Lets go for a majorly resounding YES here. BIIIIG  
spoilers for DOTF...

Disclaimer: The Star Wars world and all it's inhabitants are  
the property of George Lucas.

Series/Sequel: Could be seen as the mirror piece to To Be One,  
but isn't necessarily

Thanks to: You for reading this. Rushlight, as ever, for the  
beta J

Summary: Obi-Wan considers the ramifications of a promise he  
made to his Master

  


I miss him.

It is as simple as that and it is tearing me apart. I mean, I  
know I was going to have to leave him, but I wasn't expecting  
it for a few years, and definitely like this, knowing that I  
will never see him again.

I know the code tells us 'There is no death, there is the  
Force', but I don't think I believe it, which is something I  
should never admit to. Then again, I doubt Master Yoda would be  
too surprised to hear it, considering how Qui-Gon was  
considered a maverick of sorts. Master Yoda even went so far as  
to tell me that he sensed Qui-Gon's defiance in me.

It's been six months now. Six months since the Trade  
Federation's invasion of Naboo. Six months since I lost my  
master to the Sith. Six months in which a day has not passed  
that I have not missed him with my very being. I think he would  
be proud of me though, I've been training the boy just as he  
asked me to. The boy. Anakin Skywalker. The fabled 'Chosen  
One'. He's a nice enough boy, I just don't think it's right for  
him to be trained. No, that's not right. I don't think I should  
be training him. He's just so strong; I can barely handle him.  
I see him slipping further and further behind his yearmates in  
his classes, and he's struggling with his training. I never had  
these problems, but I had Jedi training for all my life. Anakin  
hasn't, and I don't think I know how to compensate for that.

When I first met the boy, I felt he was really dangerous. In a  
way, I believe I still do. He has so much pent up emotion  
roiling around in him, and he doesn't know how to deal with it,  
how to channel it into the Force properly. He never seems to  
pay attention when I'm telling him the correct way to do so. He  
wants these emotions, I'm sure of it. But these negative  
emotions; his fear, his anger, his hurt, they are all conduits  
for the Dark Side. Between us, we are both perfect candidates  
for the Sith, Force forbid that should ever happen.

I feel like a hypocrite when I think like this though, for I  
know when I was a teenager I had enough trouble of my own  
releasing my feelings, especially anger. It would eat away at  
me and I would get snappy. Qui-Gon used to say I was a normal  
hormonal teenager, and he'd let me have a tantrum like average  
adolescent boys would.

A tantrum wouldn't work for Anakin though, he has to.. no WE  
have to find his own way of dealing with things.

There is a distance between Anakin and myself that was never  
there with Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon and I were always really close, the  
Force brought us together as Master and Apprentice. I'm really  
not ready to be training a padawan of my own, but I promised my  
Master I would.

I want to be strong for him, let him into my heart to train  
him. Something is holding me back, and I hate to admit it, but  
it's fear. Fear I will lose him. He is precious to me, and I  
dare not let myself get too close to him, because it will hurt.  
The last time I let myself get close to anyone, he was killed.  
And it's all my fault. I wasn't fast enough, and the Sith  
killed him.

Qui-Gon died in my arms.

He died, his last words telling me to train the boy. He  
wouldn't let me speak, I needed to tell him. Had to tell him  
how sorry I was and. And how much I love him.

His last thought may have been of Anakin, but he died in my  
arms. This much I can keep with me.

 

 

THE END

 

 

  



End file.
